


Release

by DanRoseWrites



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Bob is a jerk but a smart one, Canon Compliant, Episode: s07e04 The Feud!, Gen, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Langst, No Romance, Season/Series 07, Team as Family, Therapy, just family - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-29 20:48:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15737073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanRoseWrites/pseuds/DanRoseWrites
Summary: Lance confronts his troubled mind after being stuck on Garfle Warfle Snick with his teammates.





	Release

**Author's Note:**

> This work is not beta'd and may include errors, but I hope you enjoy it!

Lance knew it wasn’t meant to be taken seriously. Just like his own jokes, the snide comments had some hidden meaning (often lightening the mood, in his own cases). Bob wouldn’t just continuously call him dumb and reinforce that the team was losing faith in him for fun. He hoped not, at least. If Coran was right about who- or what- Bob was, then there had to be more than humor to the blatant insults. Unless he really was just the comedy relief of the team, which he _wasn't_.

He looked around at the vast, unfamiliar space around him, processing the events from their shared dream in silence as the lions flew in loose formation. They were headed home, so soon he’d be able to see his family, and all his worries would go away. They had to go away. His worries would be quelled as soon as he knew his loved ones were safe. After all, his only worries stemmed from missing home and not knowing if his family was okay. Sighing to himself, he focused ahead and murmured to himself, “Bullshit.”

At this point in life, lying to himself had become a reoccurring stepping stone to dealing with his own mental illness. His worries came far before he had even left for the Galaxy Garrison, but it was much easier to first think that he was just homesick. For a small moment, he could believe that any desire to cut himself from the team was there because he wanted to go home. It was entirely possible that any insecurity, fear, or sadness derived from homesickness. He wanted to go home and that was it. He always insisted that it wasn’t anxiety for a moment, bracing himself, before facing the truth. Once he jumped that hurdle, he worked at sorting through his thoughts of inadequacy and dread. Yes, he was a jack of all trades. No, he wasn’t a seventh wheel. Yes, he joked around. No, he wasn’t just a goofball. Yes, he wasn’t the best game show contestant. No, he wasn’t dumb.

Sure, he wasn’t the best at matching faces with names and he wasn’t the best at comprehending Keith’s terrible pictures, but that didn’t make him an idiot. He was a good diplomat, and if he had a little time to focus up, he could talk his way into or out of anything. Obviously, he could out-shoot anyone, but he could also strategize in the heat of battle. He, though lacking conventional intelligence, was useful to the team. He just didn’t always believe as much. He hated that a weird mind game show triggered his insecurities, but he couldn’t deny that it did any longer.

Bob was judging them as a team of great warriors, Coran had pointed out, but maybe that wasn’t all. He _had_ tested them individually when asking who should be allowed to leave. Maybe everything he did, everything he said, was a test. Bob wasn’t only judging the Paladins of Voltron. He was judging Pidge, Hunk, Allura, Keith, and Lance, and not only at the end of the twisted game show. Testing Keith when he was put on the spot to draw, Pidge when she was given the chance to attack, Lance when he was put under pressure, and the others just by trapping them. Hunk and Allura were pretty well-rounded, he (and likely Bob) figured, they didn’t need to be as individually judged as much.

Lost in his thoughts, it took Lance a second to realize that the radios were active again as Hunk rambled about road-trip games. His lips curled into a smile as he imagined the Paladins and their passengers stuffed into one big van, playing games (rather than travelling through space in separate lions, silent between intervals of conversation). In that van, squished impossibly close to the others, there wouldn’t be a moment for him to be stuck alone with his thoughts. He wasn’t sure if that would be for the best, though. As Pidge piped up with her own recollection of Matt playing old music on road trips, Lance idly listened for once. He had his own road-trip tales from the past, but he wasn’t really feeling like involving himself in this conversation, mind still occupied with his internal monologue.

At some point, when Allura was talking about Altean popular music, an private video screen popped up to the right of Lance. He raised an eyebrow as he saw Keith, looking truly hesitant for the first time since he had returned to the team with his mother and Romelle.  

"Hey, you okay there?" Lance prompted when Keith hadn't spoken up for a few awkward seconds.

Keith sighed, "Yeah, I was just talking to Shiro and Krolia about our...dream, or whatever that was, and I realized I didn't apologize for what I said at the end. I didn't really-"

Lance found himself laughing before he could stop, cutting Keith off, "Hey, I know you didn't mean it. Obviously you love spending time with me, everyone does. It was just a stressful situation," he shrugged with a comfortable smile.

"I guess, but that doesn't make it okay, Lance. Look, I'm sorry for saying I didn't want to be stuck with you."

"Apology accepted, Keith. I didn’t take it personally anyway. You looked _way_ too defensive to be serious.”

“I did not look defensive!” the black paladin scoffed, arms crossing

Lance smirked and crossed his arms, doing his best mirror of Keith’s current posture and expression as he switched to a frown, “I just don’t wanna be stuck with Lance!”

Keith rolled his eyes as Lance settled back into his slight slouch and smirk, “Okay whatever. I just wanted to get that off my chest and- and to say thanks for picking me. I guess...I didn’t really expect that, but it meant a lot.”

Lance hummed thoughtfully, expression softening as he admitted. “I wouldn’t have expected it either, but when I was thinking about it, you just made the most sense.”

Keith let a smile form on his lips, “Don’t hurt yourself, thinking too much.”

Lance laughed, “I’ll try my hardest. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go back to belting every song I can remember before we get home!”

Keith chuckled, “Sure, but check in on the radio sometimes, okay? Oh, and just for the record, we never lost faith in you, Bob’s just an jerk.”

He nodded, chuckling as he closed the private channel.

Maybe when they’d first formed Voltron, Keith’s dig at his intelligence would’ve stung, but not anymore. He knew when Keith was just teasing. He knew to not always take them seriously just as the team knew Lance was more than his jokes. Yeah, sometimes doubts still dug at him, and sometimes he let them crack his walls, but he started learning to filter through and confront the irrational fears from his mind. Maybe that was why Bob’s words hit him so hard. He was so used to hearing those thoughts _inside_ his head that hearing someone say them aloud in front of his friends triggered his anxiety despite all the work he put into subduing it.

That was it, though, wasn’t it? That was Bob’s ulterior motive. Dragging his anxiety to light right in front of his team, having him confront one of his greatest fears. That was Bob’s way of judging him as a warrior. Despite being mocked publicly, he still tried his hardest. He hadn’t completely collapsed under pressure. In the end, it probably didn’t matter if he won the games. His real test was coping with his anxiety out in the open, free for his team to see. He’d done it. And maybe if he’d done it once, he could do it again. He could really talk to his team about his anxiety.

Grateful as he was for Keith’s reassurance, he wanted more than a sentence of comfort. He wanted to sit down and talk with everyone about all the fears he’d hidden from them. He couldn’t keep hoping someone else would start the conversation he wanted to have. There was no way he was the only one needing to sit down and talk (or cry) out his pent up emotions. They’d all suffered through intergalactic war, yet had no therapy of any sort. Maybe the others had found their own coping mechanisms, but he wanted to talk honestly with his friends about everything. Of course, if someone didn’t want to talk, he wouldn’t force them, but he wanted to be there to listen like he wanted them to be.

Now the question became how could he possibly bring this up. Should he talk to Keith about his idea first, see how their team leader felt about it? Or should he try to subtly bring it up on the next safe planet they found? Whatever he ended up doing, he knew he had to address idea with the others before their next long stretch of flight. He doubted he could handle sitting alone and plotting out potential situations in his head for very long. At the very least, he needed a passenger again. He’d even take Romelle back, considering she’d at least keep him occupied and out of his head.  

Time flew away from Lance as he procrastinated bringing up his idea. It was hard to find the right time. Things were too quiet sometimes, he didn’t want it to come up out of nowhere. Other times things were too loud and his topic didn’t fit into the conversation. Then he started to doubt himself again. Was it really all that important? Was he selfish for thinking this up because he wanted his anxiety acknowledged? Would he accidentally guilt the others into talking? Making them uncomfortable? He didn’t want to ruin what they had built up. Things were good now, and he didn’t want to be the one messing it up.

Eventually, he realized that there was never going to be a right time. He would never be entirely comfortable talking about himself, his raw emotions. Just like he assumed of everyone else, he would definitely be uncomfortable sharing, but that didn’t make sharing a bad thing. He would get better with time. They all would, but only if someone spoke up first. He couldn’t keep putting it off because of the very issue he wanted to face. He knew his mind would eat away at his confidence the moment he hesitated, so before he could brush off his instincts again, he turned on his radio for all to hear.

“Hey guys,” he started after taking a deep, silent breath to calm his racing heart just a little, “I think we should have some kind of group therapy.”

Hunk, bless his whole being, spoke up first as Lance let the idea sit out in the open, “Where’s this coming from? Are things getting bad again, Lance?” Lance smiled, grateful for Hunk’s concern. He had seen that coming in nearly every scenario he imagined. Hunk had known about his anxiety since the Garrison, when Lance had promised to come to him when things in his head got out of hand. He had broken that promise more than a few times since they’d left Earth.

“Not right now, I’ve just been thinking about things a lot. I’ve gotten some bad anxiety and stuff since we left Earth and I just doubt I’m the only one who has stuff to talk through. I’m just sick of doing it alone, I guess?”

“Well, I know I’ve definitely been anxious while out here,” Hunk responded when it seemed clear that no one else knew quite what to say, “Like- almost all the time, but I think talking about it would help.”

“It would definitely help,” Keith assured with gentle determination before someone else could speak up, Krolia’s hand on his shoulder, most likely for support. “When I was on that comet with my mom, we had nothing but time to sit around and wait. We talked a lot, about my past, but also some more recent stuff. It helped me realize a lot. Good things. I think that’s a good idea, Lance.”

Lance sighed softly, relaxing more in his seat, “Thanks. But, I mean, not everyone has to participate, I just thought it could help us bond even more before we get back to Earth. What about the rest of you?”

“I’m not sure we quite understand what this ‘group therapy’ you are talking about is,” Allura admitted, Coran and Romelle affirming their own confusion in the background.

Pidge took it upon herself to explain, which Lance was endlessly grateful for, “It’s basically sitting together and talking about feelings. The feelings and problems you’re more scared to talk about.”

“Oh, is that a common thing on Earth?” the princess asked solemnly.

Shiro spoke up this time, “It’s not exactly an everyone-does-this common, but it is something most people know about.”

Lance nodded in agreement, “We can talk about it more later, I just wanted to bring it up before I tried to put it off any longer.”

“How long have you been thinking about this?” Hunk asked.

“Honestly, since we were in that weird game-show-dream-thing. I just figured some things out. This war’s definitely messed us all up, one way or another. We all know it, too, we just haven’t talked about it, right?"

“That’s definitely true, but I don’t see how that dumb game-show got you to thinking about group therapy,” Pidge mumbled, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Lance chuckled meekly, “That’s fair. You guys remember how Bob kept calling me dumb and all that?” The group’s mutter of frustration assured him that they certainly did, so he proceeded, “Well, after that happened, I realized that he was judging us as a team  _and_  as individuals. He was only saying that stuff because it’s a little like what my anxiety sounds like in my head.” As he went on, Lance realized that his leg had started to shake, releasing both pent up energy and some of his nerves, “He was testing me to see if I was handling my anxiety well enough. Like, he wanted to know if I was strong enough to keep going by myself or if I actually listened to those thoughts. I dunno for sure,” he tugged at his lower lip, not letting the small doubt stop him from finishing.

“From there, I just kept thinking about how I felt, then how you guys were probably feeling too. I realized that, even if I was doing okay on my own, even if we were all handling ourselves fine, I didn’t want it to go on like that. I want us to, like,  _honestly_ talk about how we feel and how we’re doing.” He hesitated for a moment before concluding, “I love you all, you’re like my second family. And families should talk when they’re hurting…” he drifted off, not knowing what else he could add.

Keith managed to speak up, tone soft and vulnerable, “Is it safe to assume we’re in agreement that we could all use this?”

Everyone quickly agreed, whether though tears or just quietly.

Hunk sniffled, “We’re gonna need some tissues or something, I’m already a mess and we haven’t even started our first session!”

Lance laughed shakily and smiled genuinely, feeling the weight lift off of him as he did.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work on here and in the fandom (despite being in it for a while). It started off as a vent fic and ended with a much more positive viewpoint than I anticipated. I'm not sure I'll be writing/publishing more, but please let me know what you think on here, or you can reach me easily on my instagram, danrosecosplays  
> Thank you for reading,  
> Dani


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